


Always In Silence

by EstherRomanov



Series: Silence [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Famous Harry, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Famous Louis, Publicity Stunts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 03:54:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11119377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EstherRomanov/pseuds/EstherRomanov
Summary: Louis always waits for Harry to come home. He isn’t coming home but Louis decides to still keep his silence and the baby inside him.





	Always In Silence

One

How long must he wait for Harry again? 

It’s been two months since Harry stayed here in their simple abode. And only then Harry stayed for only a night. It’s been two months since they kissed in between making love; Harry pausing in thrusting his hips just to relish the taste of his lips. It’s been two months since Louis was almost folded in half in bed, while Harry pounded into him for torturously long hours, sans condom, their bodies connected with every gleaming of sweat, every muscle twitching, every breath hitching. 

Harry had come home to celebrate the success of his first major album. Harry utters his I-love-yous and his thank-yous and it’s-because-of-yous and you’re-my inspirations. It’s been two months since Harry said all those to him. 

It’s been two months since he’s been with Harry. 

It’s been three weeks since he found out he’s pregnant. 

Now, Harry’s on television. James Corden interviews him about his ongoing relationship with country pop sensation Taylor Swift. They are the hottest couple right now, according to everyone. A power couple one might say. The perfect couple blessed with God-given talents and God-given good looks. 

Louis doesn’t mind Harry lying his way to the camera and making the audience believe he’s very much in love with Taylor. Louis is one of the selected few that know it’s all a publicity stunt. Harry’s management made it clear that their market are girls and it wouldn’t do them any good if they found out that Harry is not straight. Louis must keep his silence if he wants his boy to succeed. Louis doesn’t mind except… it’s been two weeks since Harry called and he still doesn’t know about Louis’ pregnancy. 

They had promised that they would call each other every day, like the crazy romantics that they are. They did for a while, but it’s getting frequent that the only thing Louis hears from the other end of the line is the voice mail. 

Last week, Harry answered. His annoyance that Louis called at an ungodly hour in the am was very evident. This morning, Louis tried again. Not even a ring was heard. 

So he contents himself watching Harry on James Corden and saying the things he dreads to hear. “Yeah. I’m really grateful for Tay. She’s perfect. We’re each other’s muse. I’m not afraid to day that I love her. We’re happy.” 

He doesn’t know if it’s just him but Harry’s been pretty convincing in his acting. 

Two

It’s been three months since Harry came home and he has still no idea about his child. 

It’s been three months. An ugly bump is already showing in Louis’ stomach but he couldn’t find it in him to tell Harry just yet. 

There’s been a cheating scandal. Harry was seen with a girl leaving a hotel at the break of dawn. For a week, that was all there is on TV and tabloids. Haylor broke up and there is a twitter war and fans take sides. It is an elaborate stunt, if Louis says so himself. Taylor will release a new album soon. On the other hand, Harry is casted for a movie. 

He calls him this morning. Harry sounds really tired. He doesn’t need to hear Louis’ distressing news. They are not ready for a baby. 

_But what if he will be happy when he hears this?_ Louis thinks. _No, he won’t. He has too much on his mind. He’s too busy. He can’t afford to divide his attention between his blooming career and a baby seven seas away._

“I miss you,” Louis says. 

“Miss you, too,” is Harry’s curt reply. “Listen. I have to go now. Manager calls. I’ll try to haggling to them if I can get a short vacation… for Christmas and your birthday.” 

“I love you,” Louis says to a dead line. 

Three

It’s been four months since Harry was home and he couldn’t handle it anymore. 

Harry is dating a Jenner. He is doing performing concerts after concerts, doing talk shows after talk shows, attending parties after parties. His collaboration with Liam Payne is number one on the charts. He is starting to film with Christopher Nolan. 

Louis is getting stressed. His morning sickness is always a nightmare. He has stopped working in the flower shop. There is no update from Harry about his plans to come home. After that call a month ago, all he’s gotten from the celebrity is one measly text. One text. ( _Hi! <3_). He can’t take the silence in that house anymore. It cannot be called a home now. It’s a house meant for a family – or two people at least – and he’s alone. He has to provide for his child. He can’t tell Harry of its existence now. It’s four months, it’s way too late. Harry will be angry that he kept it from him this long. Harry can’t manage to be angry now that there’s a talk of a world tour right after filming ends. 

Four

It’s been five months since Harry was home. Louis is back in Doncaster for a monthly family visit. 

Jay takes care of him. She wants to pamper and spoil her son and her coming grandson. 

There’s a news on TV. Baby scandal. A girl claims she’s carrying Harry Styles’ baby. Harry becomes livid. His fans become wild. His management is ecstatic. 

“There’s no truth in what she’s claiming,” Harry says in an exclusive interview. “I never met her. I don’t even know her. It’s time to stop pulling me in every scandal. My girlfriend is hurting. I don’t want Kendall to go through all these. Please. Stop.” 

Louis looks down to his bulging stomach and feels ashamed for some reason. 

After the Tomlinsons watched that news, Jay convinces her son to stay in Doncaster. He needs to get all the care he deserves and its obvious Harry can’t do it. 

The next day, Louis gets in touch with Harry. He tells him he is staying with his family for a while. Harry tells him of his busy schedule. They talk and talk and laugh. They are friends again. Louis is in love again. They are talking on the phone for over an hour. Louis wonders how did Harry clear his schedule for the night. No matter. Tonight is the night Louis will tell him about Harry’s heir. He didn’t get a chance to because Harry is already cutting him. 

“I don’t think this will work. I think it’s best for us if we stop. I’m sorry.” 

Five

It’s been two years since that phone call. 

Harry releases a second bestselling album. Louis teaches at a local daycare center and takes care of his sisters and his son. Jay passed away a year before. 

Six

There is something wrong with Forrest Tomlinson. The boy doesn’t cry even on his first few hours in the world. He doesn’t smile. He got these unnerving blank stares. He doesn’t talk. He prefers to be left alone. He never says anything though he is responsive for most of the time. He’s got a frail body. He is neither mute nor deaf, the doctors assure Louis that. “Your son just needs to trust his environment. He will come to, Mr. Tomlinson. There’s no need to worry.” 

Louis is not worried. He loves his son one way or another. Why, he loves the silence Forrest offers. 

Seven

There’s a new boy in town. 

Louis is at the grocery store with Forrest. His son is unimpressed with the loud and colorful surroundings but he stays put in the cart and just stares blankly at whatever his mother is pulling from the shelves. Louis smiles at his son every once in a while. The voice of Forrest’s father is heard from the speakers of the store. 

“ _Just stop your crying/It's a sign of the times/We gotta get away from here/We gotta get away from here/Just stop your crying/It'll be alright._ ”

Louis is happy. Harry has a new movie and it’s showing next week and he plans to take his child and show him time and again his father. “See, that’s your dad,” he will proudly say. “He is a great man. He is talented. One day you will be like him. You will be great, too. I can feel it.” 

“Cute kid,” someone says. 

Louis turns around and sees blonde hair, blue eyes, white shirt, guitar slung over the shoulder, and a basketful of junk foods. 

“Thank you,” Louis tells new person gratefully. 

New stranger doesn’t need to ask if the kid is his. The resemblance is uncanny. 

“What’s his name? What’s your name, young man?”New strangers smiles at Forrest and stoops a little to get to his eye level. He is met with a blank stare. 

“His name is Forrest.” Louis is getting embarrassed. “He… he doesn’t talk yet.” 

“Oh.” New stranger straightens up and is concerned. “How old is he?” 

“Two.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Must be hard for you and his mum.” 

Another bout of embarrassment is enforced. Louis ducks down. “ _I_ carried him.” 

Again an ”Oh.” New stranger laughs softly. “Well it’s not unheard of. Don’t be shy.” 

Louis tries to smile at him. 

“Ummm… so where’s the other father? At home, I presume?” 

“No. He’s not around.” Louis is disturbed by himself at how much the statement comes too easy. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Eh, don’t be. It’s no big deal.” 

New stranger stares at Forrest, steals a look from Louis, looks around the aisle, then back to Louis again with easy confidence. “I’m Niall, by the way. Niall Horan.” 

Eight

Niall Horan is an aspiring musician. Louis knows that that is a dangerous territory right there but he cannot help himself. After two or so years, he feels loved again. Forrest also needs a father figure. Niall is within reach. 

He tells him that Forrest’s father is a high school sweetheart. That is a lie. Louis met Harry in college when they were both interns in a recording company. Louis has the right mind to not involve Harry in this, not when the latter’s career is soaring high now more than ever as the day he started. He tells Niall that Forrest’s father does not know about his son and he thinks it’s for the best. He tells him he doesn’t want to talk about the man who, at the wrong moment, walked out of his life. Those were the truth at least. 

Niall sings to him. Niall writes songs for and about him. Niall makes him laugh. He fills in the silence that Louis has grown accustomed to. They both try to get Forrest to talk. They both fail. Niall wants to step in and be Forrest’s legal father. 

It is scary. 

Louis sways him into taking their relationship one step at a time. They will get there. 

Niall takes that as a challenge. Louis loves him more. 

Nine

Forrest is five years old and he still doesn’t communicate. 

Eight days after Forrest’s fifth birthday, Niall receives a call. 

He is scouted. He is getting signed up. He is going to be famous. His debut single enters the Top 40. 

Louis is happy for him and is afraid of the future. 

Ten

Niall has been away for eight months. Louis is getting nervous. There’s a gossip linking Niall to Ellie Goulding. 

When Niall returns home for Christmas, he is weeping in Louis’ arms. “I told them that if I’m going to make money for them, I want my life be private. No fucking scandals or gossips or goddamn publicity stunts. I don’t want to sacrifice what we are having. It will kill me if you ever think I’m taking you for granted.” 

Niall is away the second time. On TV, Louis could see he abandoned the bleach and there’s a brunette Niall serenading the crowd. 

Louis comes home from the center. He has gone into a habit of turning the radio on while he prepares dinner and his sisters assist Forrest on his art projects. 

There’s a new song on the radio, from the newcomer Niall Horan, the DJ says. 

“ _If the whole world was watching I’d still dance with you/Drive highways and byways to be there with you/Over and over the only truth/Everything comes back to you._ ”

Louis tears up. 

Eleven

A day before Forrest’s seventh birthday, Niall calls them with an exciting news. He will collaborate for a single with one of his music idols, the one and only Harry Styles. 

Louis wants to die. 

Niall tells him that he’s met Harry on few occasions now. Louis wonders if Niall has mentioned him to the rockstar. 

“What is he like?” Louis asks. 

“He’s wonderful. I’ve gone to dinner with him and his girlfriend last night. He didn’t ask anything about my private life. I like that. He said he knows all about the horrors of invasion of private life when he started. We talked shit about our management instead.” 

“What a nice lad,” he comments dryly. 

“Yeah. But he perked up when I told him I came from Doncaster. He said he knows someone from our town. He seemed intensely interested.” 

Louis looks over at Forrest who has paused drawing scary hooded figures to give his whole attention to Tom and Jerry in the television. He hears Niall talk incessantly in the background. Louis wonders about his own silence and his son’s. 

Twelve

Niall calls them again a week after Forrest’s birthday celebration. He says he will go home. They will celebrate Forrest’s birthday properly, the three of them, like the family that they’ve become in the last five years. 

Louis dresses up his emotionless son good. He carries him to the restaurant and goes to the VIP area. The perks or downside, Louis can’t decide which, of having a celebrity partner. Niall said he’s going straight from the airport, and so mother and son waits for a half hour or so. 

There’s a little commotion from the back area of the restaurant. Louis rises to greet his beau. Forrest remains indifferent. Niall comes in with two other people. Louis’ heart skips a beat. He reaches for his son’s shoulders and holds on protectively. It’s been seven years since he’s seen Harry in the flesh. 

“Hi, love.” Niall is all smiles. He kisses Louis. Whatever smile Harry had when he entered falls upon seeing him. “You recognize the famous Harry Styles and his lovely girlfriend, Tess Ward. Friends, this Louis Tomlinson, my boyfriend. This is our lovely ray of gray sunshine, Forrest. Say hi, Forrest. Louis, baby, I know I promised it will only be the three of us but Harry here really wants to come with me here. He jumped on me at the studio when he learned I’ll be flying to Doncaster tonight. We can drive them around after this. At least Forrest can be with a famous star for his birthday. Not bad, eh. I will stay here until tomorrow.” 

Niall is slowing down with his monologue until he stops in deep concentration. He has been looking from Forrest to Harry as he speaks. He never saw this before. How could he? He didn’t get the opportunity to inspect the two up close at the same time live. 

While Forrest does resemble Louis, he is the splitting image of Harry. Disregarding the brown feathery hair and the blue eyes and the lack of dimples, it is Harry’s face. Forrest is the young version of Harry Styles. 

Niall looks around for help. 

Except Louis’ eyes are on the ground. Tess is uneasy with what she’s seeing and steps away. Harry is torn between trying to catch Louis’ eyes and assessing his little clone. Even though caught off guard, Harry is quick to get a grip what is going on. His eyes widen and his breath hitches. 

Niall is confused. Niall thinks. Niall solves the puzzle. 

“Oh. _Oh_.” 

Louis can’t decipher the look Niall is giving him. _Hate. It must only be hate. He’s been lied to._ Without looking at any of them, he starts to pull Forrest from the chair so they can get away from the wretched place. 

However, Forrest is not moving, does not allow himself be pulled. He has his eyes locked on his father. 

“Forrest, come on honey. It’s time to come home,” Louis begs his son. 

“Oh, my God. Oh, my God.” Niall runs his hands through his hair. “Louis.” 

Louis ignores him and his breaking heart. “Forrest, we have to leave.” 

The little boy chokes. Then he shouts, “No!” Forrest’s first word. The first expression his emotionless face displays is anger. “No!” 

Louis catches his breath. Forrest talks? 

“Louis.” Harry takes a cautious step forward. Niall is getting more and more broken as he watches this reunion. “Tell me. Tell the truth. Why does he look like me? Is he mine? Is he my son? Do I have a son?” 

“No!” Now it’s Louis who shouts the adverb. “He isn’t yours. How dare you. You have no right!” 

Harry is as bewildered as he is angry. “Why didn’t you tell me? All these years, you kept him from me!” 

Forrest starts crying. It’s the first time he does that, too. But it’s not the right time. The bawling and the tears are piercing through Louis’ brain and getting to his nerves. 

Harry reaches out his hands as if to grab his son. Enough is enough. Harshly, Louis picks Forrest up and runs away, outside the restaurant. Forrest starts hitting his shoulders and the side of his face and he is crying and shrieking to his ear and Louis does not know what his son wants but he knows what _he_ wants and that is silence. 

He gets inside a cab before Harry can catch him. He reaches his place. All the while Forrest never stopped his tantrums. It drives Louis crazy. 

He drops Forrest in the den and the little boy jumps up and starts hitting him again. Louis raises his hands to protect his stomach and hips. 

“Forrest…” he pleads. He discovers with such sadness that he has been crying too. 

“Papa! Papa! Papa!” Forrest wails. 

Now he knows what the boy wants. But he cannot give it to him. It’s not that simple, isn’t it? It’s not. It’s always been hard. 

“Forrest,” he cries softly. He picks up Forrest again despite the brutal protest and he holds him tightly to his chest. Tiny hands hit his back. He ignores the pain by turning off the silence. 

“ _Wish that you could build a time machine_ ,” he sings. It’s been a while since he’s sung and the melodies sound weird coming from a quiet mouth like his. “ _So you could see the things no one can see._ ” He delivers a laugh and a happy face amidst the tears and spins around. “ _The sun goes down and it comes back up. The world it turns no matter what._ ” Forrest finally (finally) stops and he starts to wonder what his mother is doing. Good. That’s good. Stop crying, child.” _Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh oh. If it all goes wrong. Darling, just hold on_ ,” he sings more. He laughs some more until his son finally gets it and he laughs with him, laughs with him while they go round and round and round. Round and round. In and around their home. 

” _Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh oh. If it all goes wrong. Darling, just hold on._ ”

Round and round. Mother and son. Round and round. Two not one. Silent no more. Crying. Laughing. Singing. Dancing and dancing round and round until they fell down. 

If he notices a figure standing by the door carelessly left ajar – a man with tears in his eyes and endless apologies in his tongue – Louis pays him no attention. Forrest is sleeping and he needs to be tucked in bed. 

#


End file.
